August 1, 2013 at 12:07am
I am embarrassed, yet totally excited to write this. Some of you may have known, where I'm sure others didn't.


Right off the bat I'll tell you what I was delivered from........smoking.  You say, 'Oh is that all?'  But if you only knew! Why I ever allowed myself to pick up such a habit is beyond me. I was raised very strict pentecostal, but remember toying with the temptation all through teen years. First I want to say to any questioners and/or doubters, yes I was a christian filled with the spirit of God! The scripture talks of little foxes that spoil the vine....hey, in that scripture I'm the vine it's talking about! You can't kill or cause something to spoil that isn't alive or good. Anyhow, a good many years back God dealt with me about this and I prayed and asked Him to remove it from me; I knew I couldn't do it! He instantly delivered me with no craving or withdrawal. I went for 10 months of not smoking; but Satan knows our weak spots...our achilles heel, so to speak. I was going through a rough time and Satan was always telling me just a puff or two is all you need, that'll make you feel better. Well, I ashamedly gave in and just before doing so I was warned by a dear friend that I would be back smoking worse than ever by the following week. Of course I was like, "oh no I won't I just need a little something to calm my nerves". Mind you that I knew the peace speaker, the one that could calm the nerves, etc.; but Satan had me looking at pleasing the flesh! My friend was right I started smoking more than ever. I told God that I would never ask Him to take them away again, cause He had already done this for me and I so foolishly picked them back up. Well, I have since then had to repent to God for that, because I knew that I couldn't conquer within myself; smoking or any other hinderence or habit of the flesh. Friends have talked to me about quitting and yes, even the Dr. offered to give me something to help me quit. I refused it all cause I really didn't want to quit. Here's where I need to tell you that through all this time I was praying and yearning inside for God's annointing to be present in my life and my singing, testimony, whatever I did! I wanted God to use me to help and bless someone!! In just the past year I feel God has really blessed me in so many ways. I started trying to open up and letting a little bit show when I was feeling the spirit. ( Those of you who know me will understand that) I was just a bit bashful in some things. I wasn't ashamed of God or His spirit and wanted Him to move, but I just couldn't release myself. As I started making my worship a little more vocal, etc, wonderful things began to happen in me spiritually. About a month ago I started feeling God dealing with me about the cigarettes. This time as He spoke I began listening a little closer. A date had been set to TRY and quit and I think this is a good thing, but God had other plans!! I had tried just last week cause I ran out and didn't want to buy anymore, I made it a whole 5 hours :( Everytime I'd think about the date getting nearer I would get all nervous and uptight, also afraid of what those that knew might think if I failed. Well, in church tonight I was singing a song that the Primitive recorded and our lead singer Jackie sings; EMPTY ME LORD. I had never sang it, but loved this song. I always sing from my heart, but tonight it went even deeper. For those of you that have never heard this song I will try and find a link. But, anyhow as I mentally prayed these words in my heart as I sang them, God began working His miracle in me! My dear friend Connie Abner was in revival at Gray Church of God; she asked me to say something, I'll be honest, I don't really know how it all came about cause Jesus had already been doing His thing :) Anyhow I broke and told the church about the smoking and asked them to pray for me as I tried to quit. Please keep reading if you've read this far. The pastor asked if I had them with me, I replied that I had some in the car and more tobacco at home and tubes ( I rolled my own) he told me to go get them. I immediately got up from the piano and headed out the door and with every step Satan kept reminding me of another time I had done this and was back smoking the next day and that someone that was there knew about this and it would be the same scenerio and I would be embarrassed. I kept walking! Got to the door of the church and it was pouring rain; Satan says you can't go out in that, you know what it'll do to your hair, they'll understand. Well, I didn't run, I walked to the car and back! When I tossed them in the trash I felt such a load lift! I am delivered! So many praying for me and encouraging words!! Satan doesn't give up easy! All the way home..don't tell Jackie, she'll say it was because you were with Connie, etc. Well, I told Jackie!! I was thinking about throwing the tobacco and tubes away when I got home and Satan says that'll be ok they're in a box and bag, if you need them, you can still get them out. Nope, that won't work, poured the tobacco out of the bag into the trash with coffee grounds and yuk. Cut those tubes into little pieces!! Only have about 5 cents to my name can't go get any. If you are faced with any battle and God brings you deliverance, don't think that it's over and done with! Satan will do his best to deceive you and trip you up. Do away with all that is possible to make tripping up easily available.  Even as I sit here typing this Satan still is taunting me, but Satan is a liar and I am delivered!!